Final Score: 11 to 3, Booyah!
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
-Winston Churchill
Now that I've recovered from my nights of complete drunkeness. I'm going to share a little secret with you. When you go to the bars and get drunk you'll always dance with chicks that you would never consider trying to hit on when sober. It occurs to me that this may not come as a huge surprise but I thought I'd share anyways. This will also coincide with the sudden appearance of many hot chicks in a bar that you had already deemed "played out". This results in the drunken person (me) hitting on or at least dancing on a) really hot chicks I don't have a chance with and b) less than hot chicks that I shouldn't be tempted by. This tendency can also be exaggerated by the any running contests that involve trying to get with as many chicks as possible, which is a very immature and asshole-ish thing to do. That's just an observation, not related to any experience of mine. If you're using this as a guide of any sort (which I don't recommend, since I'm far from an expert), I'd say your best chance at meeting a nice girl (aka not-a-slut) is to go early to the bars. This is the time that you'll find mostly girls dancing with girls on the dance floor due to the lack of inebriation in the guys who are too self-conscious to be out on the floor (I recommend two beers before attempting any dancing). This is the time to strike as any hot girls will be occupied by some asshole later in the evening or will have gone home rather than suffer the indignities of being pawed on the dance floor. Of course, should you wait too long you'll soon find the dance floor crowded by guys hunting for available chicks while giving the fatties as much berth as possible. This leaves you with several undesirable options: a) settle for someone undesirable, b) drink more until someone becomes more desirable, c) get some food, or d) pack up and head on home. I'm a big fan of combining options c and d.
Flirting Tip of the Day:
When going into a flirting situation pick your wingman carefully. There are several key attributes you should look for:
1) The willingness to "jump the grenade", no matter the size of said grenade.
2) A basic understanding of how to dance with a girl... amazingly not so common a trait.
3) Conversational ability, enough at least to distract and parlay without giving too much interest.
With these skills a good wingman should be able to give you the time and chance to work your "game" with any "hot/drunk" chick. However, don't be surprised if the situation gets turned around and you find yourself dancing with the "grenade's" wing(wo)man. After all you are at a bar where only the rule of the jungle applies. Kill or be killed.
